Not June | "The Pearls Are Off"Not June | "The Pearls Are Off"http://www.notjune.com/journal/2013-05-29T13:59:05ZSquarespacePurple: Wordless Wednesdayhttp://www.notjune.com/journal/2013/5/29/purple-wordless-wednesday.htmlNot June2013-05-29T05:34:45Z2013-05-29T05:34:45Z

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]]>Washing Dishes: Wordless Wednesdayhttp://www.notjune.com/journal/2013/5/22/washing-dishes-wordless-wednesday.htmlNot June2013-05-22T13:45:19Z2013-05-22T13:45:19Z

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]]>What Every Mom Wants for Mother's Dayhttp://www.notjune.com/journal/2013/5/11/what-every-mom-wants-for-mothers-day.htmlNot June2013-05-11T21:15:04Z2013-05-11T21:15:04ZThere are an infinite number of posts floating around the interwebs on what to get mom for Mother's Day. They range from sponsored shopping guides to little known local indie picks to home crafted goodies. Pinterest is overflowing with ideas and every brick and mortar store is shouting out deals and specials from their signs and ads. I decided to throw my two cents in to this slightly overwhelming mix of gift ideas and tell you what I think all moms of school-aged children want this special Sunday:

1. To not fuck their children up.

2. To be left the hell alone for a few hours.

These are the gifts that will keep on giving. Am I right?

 

 

]]>Wordless Wednesday: Only A Mother Could Lovehttp://www.notjune.com/journal/2013/5/8/wordless-wednesday-only-a-mother-could-love.htmlNot June2013-05-08T19:54:23Z2013-05-08T19:54:23ZOnly a mother could love the face of Shaggy and his underbite and goatee.

]]>Home: Wordless Wednesdayhttp://www.notjune.com/journal/2013/5/1/home-wordless-wednesday.htmlNot June2013-05-01T13:00:43Z2013-05-01T13:00:43Z

]]>Cotton (Up): Wordless Wednesdayhttp://www.notjune.com/journal/2013/4/23/cotton-up-wordless-wednesday.htmlNot June2013-04-24T03:41:28Z2013-04-24T03:41:28ZThe six-year-old seized the opportunity to cotton up to me by professing his love in our driveway in chalk as I was battling with his brother over getting dressed more quickly.

I reciprocated so at least one son would favor me, hopefully ensuring I end up in their home and not The Home when I'm old(er).

 

]]>Things Single Moms of Young Boys Say That Shouldn't Also Be Said on Dateshttp://www.notjune.com/journal/2013/4/23/things-single-moms-of-young-boys-say-that-shouldnt-also-be-s.htmlNot June2013-04-23T20:16:38Z2013-04-23T20:16:38ZPut your penis away.

No, you can't sleep in my bed.

Quit begging, it's annoying.

One day you'll enjoy kissing girls.

It's OK that it's hard. Just stop touching it.

You already know where where babies come from. I'm not explaining it again.

You're embarrassing me in public.

I'm embarrassing you in public? That's part of my job.

No, you can't see my vagina.

Stop trying to see my breasts.

If you finish your dinner I'll give you a special treat.

Fine, but only for five minutes and I'm setting a timer.

No, I won't look to see if you have a butt rash.

No, I won't blow on it.

Want me to kiss it and make it better?

Stop touching me.

For God's sake, keep your pants on.

 

]]>Mellow Yellow: Wordless Wednesdayhttp://www.notjune.com/journal/2013/4/17/mellow-yellow-wordless-wednesday.htmlNot June2013-04-17T14:09:43Z2013-04-17T14:09:43ZA little yellow clonazepam goes a long way this week.

]]>Party (Like A Six-Year-Old): Wordless (Less Words) Wednesdayhttp://www.notjune.com/journal/2013/4/9/party-like-a-six-year-old-wordless-less-words-wednesday.htmlNot June2013-04-10T02:11:34Z2013-04-10T02:11:34ZThis week I'm engaging my discount party decoration fetish prepping for my son's Italian cooking birthday party thanks to the 99 Cent Store and Homegoods. I'll be filling the vases with dry pasta and attaching balloons and the silicone cooking utensils will be beribboned as party favors.

]]>View From the Top of the Space Needle: A Watery Wordless Wednesdayhttp://www.notjune.com/journal/2013/4/2/view-from-the-top-of-the-space-needle-a-watery-wordless-wedn.htmlNot June2013-04-03T02:30:15Z2013-04-03T02:30:15Z

 

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